Cornbread

Hey y’all!!!

Sorry for the delay in posting! I must say that I really miss hearing from you guys & dolls (mostly through texts, emails and personal messages). Although this may be a compilation my tawdry shenanigans,  I do this blog for your entertainment. Thank you so much for your feedback and support. Happy Reading!

It’s 2013 and in this 30-something year of life, I decided to stay in town and celebrate the whole weekend for my favorite holiday, my birthday. My birthday landed on a Friday and I spent the day at the mall, and then chilled at home. The next day, one of my besties and I went club-hopping. Now let me just say, I do not, I repeat I do not like clubs, however, I go when I want to dress up and be seen, sip strong adult beverages while listening to music as I try to have a decent conversation, yelling over loud ass music. I’m usually enjoying the company that I’m with moreso than the “club scene” itself. It’s one of those silly things that I do “just to do”, not too often, of course.

As I walked through the club, there was one particular dude that caught my eye. He was tall, dark skinned,  with a little patch of grey in the front of his low hair cut , and a great smile to boot! I don’t know what it was, maybe the fact that he was wearing a bow tie, coupled with my obsession with nice teeth/smiles… For whatever reason we just kept glancing at each other, off and on. He approached me and as soon as he opened his mouth I knew he was “Country” as hell… And I was in heaven because I love me some Country-ass men!! I’m really big on accents and I love the way that they talk, specifically Carolinas, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, Tennesse, Florida….Oooh-weee! They are my guilty pleasure along with Jamaican men with accents,  and men with Northern preferably New York/New Jersey accents.  So of course as he talked I listened deeply, at the club, over loud ass music. Yes, Charles was from a small podunk town in South Carolina. “Cornbread fed and Country bred!” Jackpot!!! We had a short conversation but we vibed really well. We even took pictures together at the club too, it was crazy. Since my homegirl and I and we were about to go, he said he would walk me to her car. We exchanged numbers and agreed to link up later.

So once I got to my car, I called him back and we decided to meet up at IHOP. We ate and chatted. We were really into each other and I must say pretty quickly for a first time meeting. Afterward he walked me to my car and in the parking lot there was a whole lot of hugging and kissing going on. I love to kiss and Cornbread was a great kisser. It was crazy, but we ended it there and told each other goodnight. We talked everyday on the phone for a couple of weeks but we didn’t hang out much because he “left his car in SC” and I didn’t feel cool about picking him up to “take me out” somewhere, even if he’s paying; That’s just not my style…

I decided that his not having transportation, paired with drinking so much hard liquor & beer, all day, every day while being a full time college student, in his 30’s, he was not “date-able”. Maybe he would be of other good use… We had been talking on the phone for a couple of weeks and I finally went over to his place. We only talked briefly and then of course went on to kissing again. “D.T.F.” as usual,  I came prepared and I was the first one to undress. And from there we went at it over an hour. Now, thinking back on it, the shit said to me in bed was hilarious. My favorite lines were, in his thick, Southern drawl was “Oooh Wee!”, “Damn guhl” and “Oh, dis yo dick, huh?”  And he was so serious as he asked me THAT…LMAO!  Of course the answer was an emphatic “Yeah”. I owned the Bone, signed the deed on that MF and everything!!!

In the days, after he seemed to become  too attached and possessive, especially if I didn’t call him back right away. He was calling & texting me way too much. I’m not sure the term for it but it’s the male equivalent of a woman being “dickmatized”. I did come over once more, but we didn’t have sex that time. I was actually too tired to drive home from work and he lived very close to where I worked, so I asked him if I could come over and crash. I couldn’t give him any more, since he does’t “know how to act”….

Well too bad it didn’t work out, not for me but for him. He desired so much of my time and more of a relationship from me, and I didn’t want that from him. Turns out we had a mutual friend we knew personally, in common, an old shipmate of his, and she had nothing but good things to say about him, and I assumed she didn’t have the “experience” with him, that I had. After all of his calling, texting and over-possessiveness I decided to delete and block him from all social media and tell him to never call me again. He of course called a little longer, then faded out. We did briefly saw each other once more, when I passed through his neighborhood on the way somewhere else. He was so shocked to see me he was speechless, and I just waved and kept going… I had nothing more to say to him. My silence was just as golden as a delicious piece of cornbread….

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To blog, or NOT to blog?

To blog or NOT to blog?

That is the question…I find I ask myself this, DAILY. Even though writing is very therapeutic and cathartic, I actually do it mainly for you, the reader. Whether or not I know that you’re reading my blog doesn’t matter, however the fact that you’re reading is an awesome thing. It fuels me to write more. Today, I’m at post #11 and at times I feel like I’m blogging too much, too fast, but I digress! This, I do, for YOU! Enjoy!

Today I heard a blog radio talk show about relationships. The participants made quite a few valid points, such as making sure you’re ready to “receive” a relationship, while not being fully dependent on the person for happiness. They touched on a topic that really resonated with me: “If you’re a large percent “business” [minded] (over 50%, I think), then you should not be in a relationship”. Wow! I really took this to heart because I know I’m a very business minded person, such that I think I drive people away. NOT drive away in the sense of I having many enemies, but I don’t allow people to get too close to me. I’m friendly, but I still have a wall up. I’ll let you see just enough to like me, but not enough to love me. I’ve been loved before more times than I’ve loved back. At times I feel my singleness is my punishment, for allowing single-sided love into my life…I love love and I also fear it. My defense mechanisms are strong. “Submission” is possible, yet hard to obtain from me…I believe that there is someone out there for me. I cannot give up. I refuse to “Wave the White Flag”. I will not surrender, despite my plights and challenges…flaws and all!

Recently, I was talking with someone, about working hard to achieve goals and being single, simultaneously. We both agreed that it causes an imbalance. We both long for someone to be there, at home for us, at the end of a long stressful day; That “someone special to talk to who will make us be a better version of ourselves and a shoulder to lean on”. He even asked that I call him on a daily basis, and work towards being his girlfriend, no excuse me his wife…again! He says he loves me, although we never “officially” dated…(He likes to move fast, eh?!) I like him, but he’s young and there are certain things that I don’t like…which I’ll get into that later. I think I’ll just keep us “where we’re at”, for now. I don’t want to complicate things… anymore…I still have a little bit more blogging & living to do…;-)

** One more thing, in the future, I will refrain from calling my experiences “Dating Hell”…
They are my “Men-oirs”. I will govern myself accordingly! 🙂

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The Chameleon, “Jackson Pierre” (Or so I thought)

A friend of mine was on this “run” of going out all the time, because of personal reasons… I know that feeling very well! So we will decided to hang out on Saturday night. First, we went to a restaurant  had drinks. Next, we went to this club, that I like to affectionately referred to as “The Dungeon”, because it’s in a basement & it seems like every other time I go in there, my clothes get dirty. My girl friend joked that I would probably meet my future husband that night & I was looking forward to it.

At the club we saw a lot of the “same old, same old” which is one of the reasons I really dislike going to clubs. It’s something to do and a way to meet people. It didn’t take long before someone “caught my eye”,  because I saw him looking at me numerous times. He was not my “type”, but I thought he was very handsome, from a distance. His skin was caramel, he had a goatee, a very very low haircut, he was 6’1″ and fit. Eventually he made his way over to me, and looked at me again. I said “Hey why, do you keep looking at me, do you like me or something?”. He said “I think you’re pretty”. My response was “Are you shy, because you seem shy”. I detected an accent, he told me his name was “Jay” and he was from Haiti… Interesting… From there we started chatting and we were pretty much inseparable the whole night. He was a “hot commodity”, a lot of women were looking at him. A few approached, but none held his attention like I did. He brought me a drink and we hung out a little bit, with my friend. She’s tall yet Jay’s shorter friend (5’7) was trying to “talk” to her. I don’t think he assessed her long legs while she was sitting down, or maybe he didn’t care. The poor thing did not stand a chance….

We finally left and Jay walked us to my car. We left and when I finally made it home I text him to let him know. He called me about noon and we had a nice chat

Over the next few days there were calls and texts between us. Although at times, because of his accent, he was quite hard to understand. He seemed really nice, intelligent, hard working and sweet. He loved talking about his kids, (2 girls and a boy) AND especially his daughters. I was thinking damn, my friend is may be right I might have just met my husband… I take a size 7 and a half ring, by the way….;-) *Giggles*

Our conversations were nice. He seemed genuinely interested. He wanted to hang out soon and he suggested Friday night, we stay in and watch a movie on Redbox at his place. #PumpTheBreaks!!! (See over time my listening skills have sharpened. I pay very close attention with what a man “leads with”. I remember him saying that he would be off for 4 days straight, for Christmas starting Saturday. So since we’re playing this game, no sir, I will pass on your “Friday night Redbox” and I will take Saturday night!!) I suggested since we’re just getting to know each other, how about we go OUT on Saturday. He asked me what kind of food I liked. I said Italian. In my opinion, based on his suggestions, he must not don’t do dates and courting  that much. Now some may say I was being too picky, but I didn’t want to just go to any run of the mill type of Italian restaurant, I wanted to go somewhere nicer not necessarily expensive but nicer than a “Chain, fast-food type Italian restaurant”. We agreed to try new spot….

Saturday came and we met up at the restaurant. He was looking really good; just plain scrumptious! He had on a tan sweater, some blue jeans and tan boots. If I had some gravy and a biscuit I would’ve sopped his ass right on up!

Dinner was nice. Good conversations were flowing and so was the Martini! The food was delicious, I just forgot to ask for a biscuit and gravy… to dip him in. We were having a nice time and we wanted to hang out more.

We decided to go bowling. Although I really suck at it, I like to bowl, plus I haven’t done it in awhile. It was his first time bowling and he did really well. From the outside looking in you’d think we were a couple, lots of affection; hugs, but no kisses yet…because I’m such a fuckin’ lady!

Neither one of us wanted the night Afterward he wanted to go hang at his place and go get a Redbox movie. (What is it with him and this damn Redbox obsession?…smh!) I was having such a good time. I agreed, AND I did alert (text) 3 of my friends where I would be going. I texted them his address and everything, just in case he (Jackson Pierre) was trying to murder a bitch. You won’t chop me up buddy and get away with it, no sir!

We went to his condo; he let me know that he had 2 other roommates, but only 1 was there. To each his own but I’m not a big fan of dating a man with roommate(s), but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. He had told me he was divorced and his ex wife took everything, his BMW and the house, and he was starting over. Since I liked him, I wasn’t going to be judgemental of his situation. We watched the infamous “Redbox movie” and had a great time laughing and talking.

He seem to be very passionate about his children and also about his country. He wanted to return to Haiti, to help his people and he claimed that he was related to a politician or 2. He also talked about one of the biggest issues she has with meeting women, is the only seem to want to have sex, and nothing more so I guess that makes him guarded. He told me he shared a lot with me, and he normally doesn’t do on a first date or with anyone for that matter.

For some odd reason, he decided to show me his debit card. The name on the card was totally different than the name he gave me. WTF? Let me get this straight, for over a week you have given me a name and we’ve had thought-filled conversations and then all of a sudden, I get your real name…NOW? I thought we had something going here but again that’s what I get for thinking! He said that he uses a different name because of the situation with the women that only want sex. Now this leads me to believe that he probably is having sex with these women. How do you know that someone only wants sex if you’re not having sex with them? Man, this fool has probably has been “poking” more chicks in real life than people do on Facebook! So I guess it’s safe to assume that he goes to clubs meets women and bangs them, regularly. Nah, buddy I’m not gonna be 1 of them. I’m not going to be your “Dungeon Booty Call”, have standards with my booty, thank you very much!

I don’t know why but he called me the next day. I missed his calls, not on purpose. He sent me a text that said “You just not serious about anything”. Okay, so yo’ ol’ lyin’ ass gone tell me I’m the ONE that’s not serious??? He called me one more time and didn’t even mention me that nasty text. I immediately addressed it and told him that I don’t like that sort of thing sent through a text (that’s that….that’s that shit I don’t like!). If you got something important to say to me, say it to me on the phone or in person. Needless to say we didn’t talk again….

I’m sure I will return to The Dungeon again… If ever see him again, hopefully in public, I’ll call him by his real name, with a big smile on my face. I’m trading in my “biscuit and gravy” for a handful of salt… and I’m “throwing that salt right into his game”, baby. Let’s see how much “poking” he does then!

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