Cornbread

Hey y’all!!!

Sorry for the delay in posting! I must say that I really miss hearing from you guys & dolls (mostly through texts, emails and personal messages). Although this may be a compilation my tawdry shenanigans,  I do this blog for your entertainment. Thank you so much for your feedback and support. Happy Reading!

It’s 2013 and in this 30-something year of life, I decided to stay in town and celebrate the whole weekend for my favorite holiday, my birthday. My birthday landed on a Friday and I spent the day at the mall, and then chilled at home. The next day, one of my besties and I went club-hopping. Now let me just say, I do not, I repeat I do not like clubs, however, I go when I want to dress up and be seen, sip strong adult beverages while listening to music as I try to have a decent conversation, yelling over loud ass music. I’m usually enjoying the company that I’m with moreso than the “club scene” itself. It’s one of those silly things that I do “just to do”, not too often, of course.

As I walked through the club, there was one particular dude that caught my eye. He was tall, dark skinned,  with a little patch of grey in the front of his low hair cut , and a great smile to boot! I don’t know what it was, maybe the fact that he was wearing a bow tie, coupled with my obsession with nice teeth/smiles… For whatever reason we just kept glancing at each other, off and on. He approached me and as soon as he opened his mouth I knew he was “Country” as hell… And I was in heaven because I love me some Country-ass men!! I’m really big on accents and I love the way that they talk, specifically Carolinas, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, Tennesse, Florida….Oooh-weee! They are my guilty pleasure along with Jamaican men with accents,  and men with Northern preferably New York/New Jersey accents.  So of course as he talked I listened deeply, at the club, over loud ass music. Yes, Charles was from a small podunk town in South Carolina. “Cornbread fed and Country bred!” Jackpot!!! We had a short conversation but we vibed really well. We even took pictures together at the club too, it was crazy. Since my homegirl and I and we were about to go, he said he would walk me to her car. We exchanged numbers and agreed to link up later.

So once I got to my car, I called him back and we decided to meet up at IHOP. We ate and chatted. We were really into each other and I must say pretty quickly for a first time meeting. Afterward he walked me to my car and in the parking lot there was a whole lot of hugging and kissing going on. I love to kiss and Cornbread was a great kisser. It was crazy, but we ended it there and told each other goodnight. We talked everyday on the phone for a couple of weeks but we didn’t hang out much because he “left his car in SC” and I didn’t feel cool about picking him up to “take me out” somewhere, even if he’s paying; That’s just not my style…

I decided that his not having transportation, paired with drinking so much hard liquor & beer, all day, every day while being a full time college student, in his 30’s, he was not “date-able”. Maybe he would be of other good use… We had been talking on the phone for a couple of weeks and I finally went over to his place. We only talked briefly and then of course went on to kissing again. “D.T.F.” as usual,  I came prepared and I was the first one to undress. And from there we went at it over an hour. Now, thinking back on it, the shit said to me in bed was hilarious. My favorite lines were, in his thick, Southern drawl was “Oooh Wee!”, “Damn guhl” and “Oh, dis yo dick, huh?”  And he was so serious as he asked me THAT…LMAO!  Of course the answer was an emphatic “Yeah”. I owned the Bone, signed the deed on that MF and everything!!!

In the days, after he seemed to become  too attached and possessive, especially if I didn’t call him back right away. He was calling & texting me way too much. I’m not sure the term for it but it’s the male equivalent of a woman being “dickmatized”. I did come over once more, but we didn’t have sex that time. I was actually too tired to drive home from work and he lived very close to where I worked, so I asked him if I could come over and crash. I couldn’t give him any more, since he does’t “know how to act”….

Well too bad it didn’t work out, not for me but for him. He desired so much of my time and more of a relationship from me, and I didn’t want that from him. Turns out we had a mutual friend we knew personally, in common, an old shipmate of his, and she had nothing but good things to say about him, and I assumed she didn’t have the “experience” with him, that I had. After all of his calling, texting and over-possessiveness I decided to delete and block him from all social media and tell him to never call me again. He of course called a little longer, then faded out. We did briefly saw each other once more, when I passed through his neighborhood on the way somewhere else. He was so shocked to see me he was speechless, and I just waved and kept going… I had nothing more to say to him. My silence was just as golden as a delicious piece of cornbread….

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Had a fantastic date? Now what??

Good evening! Although it may seem like I may be slightly “ratchet”, I am trying to do my best to find someone to settle down with, all the while taking advice drom some of my guy friends and other guy sources. Why??  Because we chicks don’t know sh*t, only guys really know about guys…This is not meant to offend because I know we all mean well, however, the best advice I’ve ever received about guys have been FROM actual guys! They have the actual, uhhh, “equipment”, so if you’ve got a couple QUALITY guy friends/relatives, go to them and make sure you get as much information as possible. I happened to run across an article that I would like to share with you ladies out there: Have you ever had a great date and the guy disappeared on you or never called back?  Here’s a possiblity on WHY… http://bit.ly/18aqPol

http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-07-25/guy-talk-why-you-never-heard-from-me-again-after-our-amazing-first-date/

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Chocolate Thai: The Addiction

Chocolate Thai; noun; A highly addictive strain of cannabis sativa, popular in the [past] 1960’s and 70’s,  however today [present] regarded as “commercial”, or not as potent…

Where do I began? This one was (is) so addictive!

I’m the beginning of Year 2 of my “Sexy-Single Phase” ( formerly “Dating Hell Phase”).. Not speaking it into existence, however, if things continue in the same direction, I will be on Year 3… It’s sort of a Double Edge Sword, although I don’t like it,  it gives you the reader more to, er, enjoy…;-)

It was Saint Patrick’s Day and I was hanging out with a good friend. Although I’m not even close to being Irish, I love to partake in the “festivities”. We went to a very eccentric part of town,  for a street party. We had a nice time and left to go to a club.. Why oh why do I keep going to these “dayum” clubs? Maybe it’s the hot guys, music and the drinks? Maybe it’s because I like to dress my best and show off my assets? I don’t know… Surprisingly I was very casual, simple hair and light makeup, a shirt-dress, fishnet hose and flat shoes. **Ladies I’m going to let you in on a little something-something that I’ve learned from other men, in case you don’t already know: Most of the time we dress up for each other. 9 times out 10, heterosexual men don’t give a crap about what we’re dressed like, they want to know what it looks like, OFF of our bodies. They respond better to us when we’re very casual. If you’re casual they think you’re the cool chick, the wifey chick actually, (unless he desires a “trophy wife” which means he prefers High Maintenance )…If you look High Maintenance, he’s going to size you up and see if you can afford you. If you dress too sexy then you’re deemed as the club chick or club slut…Hey, it is what it is….

We weren’t there that long before I was approached by a tall, dark chocolate, and handsome young man…with a beautiful smile…And you know my Kryptonite is chocolate skin and a nice smile! He was very friendly. He made sure to introduce himself to me and my friend and he also introduced us to a friend of his. He was talking a little bit about his business too and he gave me his card…Reggie Thompson. Hmmm… I can’t remember majority of our conversation due to his “fine-ness” and the potent drinks. Hey, it’s “Irish” in me…lol I can’t remember who called who first, but I definitely put that business card to use. I was definitely thinking about was “giving him the business”, but of course I wanted to get to know him first. We never “officially” went out on dates, however we did hang out a bit. Our chemistry was so great. As much as I wanted him, I would usually push away his advances because I actually liked him. You know how we have to do, ladies.. It’s great for him to want you sexually but you don’t want to look like a l’il hoe…(or heaux in French) 😉

Reggie and I  we were supposed to do a park picnic. He had a small fruit container with an assortment of strawberries, pineapples, cantaloupes, grapes and honeydew. There wa no, uh, “grape juice”, no cheese, no crackers, but we did have bottled water. He’d  never done a picnic before and didn’t know what to bring. I acknowledged his effort. He was too cute! I brought my whole picnic cooler, packed with plates trays and cups, a blanket. We found a nice secluded spot by the water where we talked, nibbled on fruit, and kissed. Between eating from the same pieces of fruit, there was a whole lot of PDA going on. I know disgusting right? LOL We didn’t want the day to end however, he had to leave to go do something with his church. And all I could think about was sinnin’…

I saw him a couple more times. Let me tell you, it was sooo hard trying to be “good” with this one. Once, there was almost a “Club Parking Lot Incident” and I ain’t talking about a club fight either! We met up again at a party, on his birthday. It wasn’t his but he was trying to celebrate early. We introduced me to his sister (and he also wanted me to meet his mom, eventually…I was like “whoa, horsey”) We briefly hung out, then we went to a restaurant to celebrate more. We decided to go to the beach. I kept a blanket in my car just for the spontaneous beach/park moments… Not like that, I know what you’re thinking…Tsk Tsk! And yes to answer your question, IT did go down that night!! *In my Rick James Voice* “Chocolate Thai is a helluva drug!!”

I enjoyed his company as much as I enjoyed him.  Although I’m not into drug use, I think Chocolate Thai is the appropriate name for him because, I just couldn’t  (can’t) seem to get enough and at times he does seem to have an “older soul” aura about himself. Our relationship was weird. We were not together like that but sometimes he acted clingy. One night, unexpectedly, he gave me “The French” (as in French kiss) in the club. Another night he went off when he saw me talking to another dude I knew at the club and accused me of having sex with the guy and I was not. At times he said he wants me to be his girl or his wife. We never officially talked about “kickin’ it” (my term for “sex & friendship” situation”, “Friends with Benefits, maybe?)  but I thought we had an “understanding” that we would just be cool, as is. I’m not sure if he just wants a “Girlfriend Experience” on occasion or what. We talked about all kinds of shit, but this is the one thing we missed thoroughly communicating in. He’s going through this phase now of “Feeling Himself”, meaning the attention he’s getting from others, is now going to his head. I liked the guy, however I don’t like his new arrogance. I’d like to see the same humble guy that I met in the club last year… Well you know what they say “Money & Fame doesn’t change people only reveals who they really are…”

Oh well, one day I’ll learn about trying to find my husband in the “dayum” Club! SMH! Pretty soon it’ll be Saint Patrick’s Day again. Maybe I’ll find a local pub, where I’ll run into a nice Irishman, or any man at this point because skin tone doesn’t matter so much. I’m at a place n my life where I’m very open, and willing to receive who The Universe sends me…Welp, Chocolate Thai withdrawals are The Pits!!!…To be continued…

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To blog, or NOT to blog?

To blog or NOT to blog?

That is the question…I find I ask myself this, DAILY. Even though writing is very therapeutic and cathartic, I actually do it mainly for you, the reader. Whether or not I know that you’re reading my blog doesn’t matter, however the fact that you’re reading is an awesome thing. It fuels me to write more. Today, I’m at post #11 and at times I feel like I’m blogging too much, too fast, but I digress! This, I do, for YOU! Enjoy!

Today I heard a blog radio talk show about relationships. The participants made quite a few valid points, such as making sure you’re ready to “receive” a relationship, while not being fully dependent on the person for happiness. They touched on a topic that really resonated with me: “If you’re a large percent “business” [minded] (over 50%, I think), then you should not be in a relationship”. Wow! I really took this to heart because I know I’m a very business minded person, such that I think I drive people away. NOT drive away in the sense of I having many enemies, but I don’t allow people to get too close to me. I’m friendly, but I still have a wall up. I’ll let you see just enough to like me, but not enough to love me. I’ve been loved before more times than I’ve loved back. At times I feel my singleness is my punishment, for allowing single-sided love into my life…I love love and I also fear it. My defense mechanisms are strong. “Submission” is possible, yet hard to obtain from me…I believe that there is someone out there for me. I cannot give up. I refuse to “Wave the White Flag”. I will not surrender, despite my plights and challenges…flaws and all!

Recently, I was talking with someone, about working hard to achieve goals and being single, simultaneously. We both agreed that it causes an imbalance. We both long for someone to be there, at home for us, at the end of a long stressful day; That “someone special to talk to who will make us be a better version of ourselves and a shoulder to lean on”. He even asked that I call him on a daily basis, and work towards being his girlfriend, no excuse me his wife…again! He says he loves me, although we never “officially” dated…(He likes to move fast, eh?!) I like him, but he’s young and there are certain things that I don’t like…which I’ll get into that later. I think I’ll just keep us “where we’re at”, for now. I don’t want to complicate things… anymore…I still have a little bit more blogging & living to do…;-)

** One more thing, in the future, I will refrain from calling my experiences “Dating Hell”…
They are my “Men-oirs”. I will govern myself accordingly! 🙂

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