Cuban Culo, NOT Papi Chulo (En Inglés: “Cuban A$$hole”)

Well as you may know,  I have been into the “Latin Scene”, due to my newfound passion for Latin dancing… I’ve been approached by guys of different ethnicities to dance,  mainly Latin guys, and because I’m not rude I usually  oblige ;-). I’ve been “collecting” numbers here and there but 1 one really caught my attention.

One nite, I came out to dance as usual. There’s one guy (James, who happens to be Chocolate) in particular that I really enjoy dancing with such that we text each other often, to meet up to dance. I show up to the club  before him and a guy of Hispanic descent came over and asked you to dance. I usually don’t refuse dances, (the more the merrier), however I wasn’t so eager to..He had pull me out… Once I started dancing with him I noticed that he was really good and he was very cute. So afterwards we sit at the bar he officer buy me a drink. Now usually I love partaking in Adult Beverages, but for some reason when I
go out Latin dancing I’m more into drinking water than drinking alcohol. He bought me a water, I’m sipping and then suddenly to my left appears my usual Chocolate dance partner. I felt very awkward because I had to socialize with the both of them and dance with the both of them. I kinda felt like they were in silent competition never spoke to one another.

So when the Chocolate guy was dancing with someone else, the Hispanic guy gave me his name and number. I planned to link up again with “Jay” again soon.  I danced with the Chocolate guy a couple more times ,we chatted a bit and then parted ways.

Over the next few days I discovered he didn’t speak English too well. Yes it’s possible for me to dance a few times with a guy and he not speak much but I just thought he was the shy type. He was asking me to come out to dance and I obliged. We went to a new spot. It was  authenic as hell, meaning that there were a lot of Latino people there. I couldn’t really get into the music at first; the DJ’s spins seemed to be sporadic and influenced by Crack . While we were sitting and having drinks, he writes on a napkin his name, Javier (“Jay”, as I knew it) and he handed me the pen to do the same. Yeah, I did that. He looked at it and smiled. After a while we were doing a lot of Meringue, Bachata, and a little bit of Salsa. We left and didn’t want the night to end so we went to 1 of those 24 hour breakfast spots. He wasn’t that hungry, so he only had café. I had café
and a BLT. Our conversation was nice and light. He told me he was 30, from Cuba and had been married for 4 years. He lived in Miami for a while and came up to Jacksonville to work (truck driving) Even though there was the language barrier I was breaking out my old Spanglish words and being very patient with our conversations. I looked over at his phone and saw that it was in Spanish mode….Po’ Baby.

After we finished we still wanted to spend more time together. Since we were right by the beach, that’s where we went to. We walked for a little bit and then he said “I want to  dance with you”. I’d never danced on the beach before and it was so much fun. It was kind of romantic too…very fuego! I think we were out there an hour, but after that we had to go. He walked me to my car. We talked for a few minutes and he just gazed at me saying “You’re very beautiful”, while pushing my hair out of my face. The energy felt natural and we wound up kissing and seriously making out. I don’t remember for how long but after that, he said he want to see me tomorrow (perhaps for cinema or maybe more, uhhh, besos) We said bye and parted ways…

For whatever reason we didn’t link up the next day. On occasion I would have thoughts, wondering what sex would be like with a man who doesn’t speak a lot of English, especially a Latino man (wink). I wonder what do they say during? I know that sounds weird but hell, don’t judge me because some of y’all were thinking the same thing too…Anyway, later that week he called me and asked me to go out. It was Good Friday night, before Easter. I was working late and I had a long day ahead of me so I told him I could go but not stay too long. Although it was late, h said he was getting his haircut and he had to go home to take a shower after.  No biggie because I had to do the same. I was waiting on him to contact me back and I by thebtime I contacted him again it was already after 11pm. When he answer the phone he said “Not tonight bebe, I’m very tired and sleepy”. WTF??? ¿Uve-Doble Te Efe?

Needless to say, I gave this culo The Ax. Cut TF off! I ignored his texts and calls. I’m sure I’ll see him out at Latin Night and when I do he will get brushed off there too! And this is why, as the saying goes, “you don’t eat where you shit”….

Yeah I know there might be a language barrier, however I know when somebody is trying BS me.I don’t do bullshit or toro mierda, so Adios, Enemigo. Dueces en Español!!

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