La Secuela (The Sequel)

So…I have been advised by a friend and counsel that I must “deal” (my words) with Keith a second and perhaps third time in order to avoid the “hoe label” and return to being seen as the “cool chick”. In my mind, deep down to the pits of my soul, from the top of my Pituitary Gland and the bottom of my Medulla Oblangata,  I am screaming “Noooooooo”. He made some valid points; If you have sex with someone one time, they could just see you and say “oh yeah, I hit that” or “she’s just a l’il hoe”. Also sometimes the “first time” can be bad or awkward, because of nervousness, etc. It’s not just about having sex one or two more times, it’s about going out and hanging with him like on a buddy basis, and maybe throw in a little sex for good measure . I’ve never been approached with this situation before however I’ve made my decision on what I’m going to do. I’d like to hear some feedback from you. What do YOU think I’m going to do and what made you come up with YOUR prediction?

(By the way, after looking at a picture of Scarface, I think Keith looks more like Tony Montana than Ray Romano…Yikes!)

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Salida Rápida (Quick Exit, Non-Fuego)

As you know “Randy”, is I am affectionately called, is usually on the Latin scene. Unfortunately I’m going to have to take a little hiatus until I figure out what TF to do about a little situation.

Wanna know what happened??? Of course you do….

Well…I went to two Latin spots and I ran into a guy I met on the scene that I haven’t seen in awhile. I only know him as Keith, a Colombian man in his late 30’s. He has a very strong accent and also looks much older than his age. I guess you could say he looks like a poor man’s Ray Romano. He’s always very social and it seems like his goal is to buy me as many drinks as possible and talk my head off. He doesn’t really like to dance. Sometimes he comes with a friend thats a pretty good dancer and I dance with him too. He always says “I’m not a dancer, I’m an engineer”. I usually state “What does THAT have to do with anything?” AND of course he replies back with his rebuttal… Not in a mean spirited away though. Usually when we dance he’s constantly spinning me, while holding a drink in the other hand. If he could he would probably hold a cigarette in that same hand…SMH. By the way I really dislike smoking but he’s fun so I usually go outside with him for him to take a smoke. I tend to risk my lung health for people that interest me. Maybe one day I’ll get a medal for it who knows…

Since we were at a cigar bar, we went to the side where guests smoke . We sat down and chatted as usual. Even though the act and smell of smoking grosses me out, I could smell his cologne through the “smokescreen” and it smelled really nice. This night he had his cigarettes on the table. He said he just bought the box the day before. Dayum regular Marlboros! I noticed half of them were gone. I told him that I really don’t like smoking and he should probably quit. He said he can quit anytime. I took his box of cigarettes from him and ask if I could throw them in the garbage and he said “Okay, I quit for you”. I took the remaining cigarettes and tore them in half, put them back in the box and threw ’em in the garbage can. That was easy….

We left out afterwards. We were in the parking lot . He was like “Let’s hang out some more; I can get a room or you can come to my place.” I said let’s get a room” (because the likelihood of getting kill’t is significantly lower…You know, in case he wanted to murder a bitch lol). I don’t know, I figured maybe we could chill… At 2 a.m. in the morning… I have just only chilled in a hotel room before… I can see y’all right now,  rolling your eyes while you’re reading this. SMH!

We talked for awhile and then we wound up having sex. I wasn’t drunk or anything so I knew exactly what I was doing. I was conducting an experiment. I wanted to try a Hispanic man out. I didn’t like this one..NOT fuego at all.I wouldn’t say that ruined it for any other Hispanic guys since this particular experience was not appealing to me. I think it’s because he’s older lookin’ and he was smallish… I know the saying goes “It’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean”, but dammit, a little dinghy can capsize like an MF. I really don’t like to waste my “stuff”. Maybe next time I’ll aim higher, for a Mario Lopez lookin’, more endowed type and hope for the best …to close out my Experiment Files. Damn, does that sound shallow!? SMH

Sorry, I know I went out of order so let me backtrack to the “Walk of Shame” Morning After, uhhh incident…

I woke up feeling awkward as hell and felt that I needed to just get out of there. I could hear him snoring loudly so I figured he was in deep REM sleep. At this moment I felt like David Copperfield because I had do a serious magic trick on his ass! I summoned my Inner Magician to get out of the bed, grab my things quickly and quietly to make a mad dash for the door without waking him. Check out time was quickly approaching… Oh man, I had to haul major ass!! I grabbed my shoes, purse, glasses and clothing however couldn’t find my underwear, so I crossed my fingers and hoped that he wouldn’t do anything crazy with them. I quietly walked toward the door and I looked in my purse to make sure I had my keys. I was able to get dressed while I “hid” in the area where the bathroom was. I quickly reached over, removed the safety latch and unlocked the deadbolt. I opened the door and hauled ass as quickly as I could in five inch platform Madden peep toe pumps! I knew the sound of the door woke him. I went straight to the elevator and did not look back. I got in my car and I hauled the most major level of ass-hauling I’ve ever the done in my life!

I could smell his cologne and smoke in my hair and on me. I could not wait to take a shower!! I didn’t realize until I got a text from him at about noon that I forgot my charger. I guess he’s holding on to it for me. Don’t worry Buddy because I’m not going to try to link up with you to get my charger; I’m trying to avoid you! Not your fault you did nothing wrong…Sometimes you just gotta go… So now I’ll be in hiatus mode. Now that I know which two spots he could be, I’ll just avoid them for a little bit. If I see him I’ll judge his demeanor and if he wants to speak I’ll speak and be “normal”. If he acts weird I’ll just will ignore him. He seems to be a mature guy so I’m assuming that he will at least say “Hello” when he sees me…Time will tell…

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Cuban Culo, NOT Papi Chulo (En Inglés: “Cuban A$$hole”)

Well as you may know,  I have been into the “Latin Scene”, due to my newfound passion for Latin dancing… I’ve been approached by guys of different ethnicities to dance,  mainly Latin guys, and because I’m not rude I usually  oblige ;-). I’ve been “collecting” numbers here and there but 1 one really caught my attention.

One nite, I came out to dance as usual. There’s one guy (James, who happens to be Chocolate) in particular that I really enjoy dancing with such that we text each other often, to meet up to dance. I show up to the club  before him and a guy of Hispanic descent came over and asked you to dance. I usually don’t refuse dances, (the more the merrier), however I wasn’t so eager to..He had pull me out… Once I started dancing with him I noticed that he was really good and he was very cute. So afterwards we sit at the bar he officer buy me a drink. Now usually I love partaking in Adult Beverages, but for some reason when I
go out Latin dancing I’m more into drinking water than drinking alcohol. He bought me a water, I’m sipping and then suddenly to my left appears my usual Chocolate dance partner. I felt very awkward because I had to socialize with the both of them and dance with the both of them. I kinda felt like they were in silent competition never spoke to one another.

So when the Chocolate guy was dancing with someone else, the Hispanic guy gave me his name and number. I planned to link up again with “Jay” again soon.  I danced with the Chocolate guy a couple more times ,we chatted a bit and then parted ways.

Over the next few days I discovered he didn’t speak English too well. Yes it’s possible for me to dance a few times with a guy and he not speak much but I just thought he was the shy type. He was asking me to come out to dance and I obliged. We went to a new spot. It was  authenic as hell, meaning that there were a lot of Latino people there. I couldn’t really get into the music at first; the DJ’s spins seemed to be sporadic and influenced by Crack . While we were sitting and having drinks, he writes on a napkin his name, Javier (“Jay”, as I knew it) and he handed me the pen to do the same. Yeah, I did that. He looked at it and smiled. After a while we were doing a lot of Meringue, Bachata, and a little bit of Salsa. We left and didn’t want the night to end so we went to 1 of those 24 hour breakfast spots. He wasn’t that hungry, so he only had café. I had café
and a BLT. Our conversation was nice and light. He told me he was 30, from Cuba and had been married for 4 years. He lived in Miami for a while and came up to Jacksonville to work (truck driving) Even though there was the language barrier I was breaking out my old Spanglish words and being very patient with our conversations. I looked over at his phone and saw that it was in Spanish mode….Po’ Baby.

After we finished we still wanted to spend more time together. Since we were right by the beach, that’s where we went to. We walked for a little bit and then he said “I want to  dance with you”. I’d never danced on the beach before and it was so much fun. It was kind of romantic too…very fuego! I think we were out there an hour, but after that we had to go. He walked me to my car. We talked for a few minutes and he just gazed at me saying “You’re very beautiful”, while pushing my hair out of my face. The energy felt natural and we wound up kissing and seriously making out. I don’t remember for how long but after that, he said he want to see me tomorrow (perhaps for cinema or maybe more, uhhh, besos) We said bye and parted ways…

For whatever reason we didn’t link up the next day. On occasion I would have thoughts, wondering what sex would be like with a man who doesn’t speak a lot of English, especially a Latino man (wink). I wonder what do they say during? I know that sounds weird but hell, don’t judge me because some of y’all were thinking the same thing too…Anyway, later that week he called me and asked me to go out. It was Good Friday night, before Easter. I was working late and I had a long day ahead of me so I told him I could go but not stay too long. Although it was late, h said he was getting his haircut and he had to go home to take a shower after.  No biggie because I had to do the same. I was waiting on him to contact me back and I by thebtime I contacted him again it was already after 11pm. When he answer the phone he said “Not tonight bebe, I’m very tired and sleepy”. WTF??? ¿Uve-Doble Te Efe?

Needless to say, I gave this culo The Ax. Cut TF off! I ignored his texts and calls. I’m sure I’ll see him out at Latin Night and when I do he will get brushed off there too! And this is why, as the saying goes, “you don’t eat where you shit”….

Yeah I know there might be a language barrier, however I know when somebody is trying BS me.I don’t do bullshit or toro mierda, so Adios, Enemigo. Dueces en Español!!

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